Expectations...

Expectations can be high. Sometimes they are too low. Sound familiar?

While completing our pre-field training (ie missionary bootcamp) at the Center for Intercultural Training (CIT), they challenged us to consider our expectations. Interesting. What do I expect of my family? What do I expect of my friends? What about churches?

Even more difficult question: What do they all expect of us? Oftentimes disagreements come up. Expectations are not established. We argue. We misunderstand. We fail one another. We fail ourselves.

We want to set realistic expectations. Not only for our ministry but also for our personal lives. We want to give ourselves time to really improve our Spanish. To learn a new Spanish accent. To take the time necessary to learn Uruguayan culture, worldview, interests, and heroes. It does take time.

We want to discuss expectations with family, friends, churches and others. Do you know why? We value you. Yep, you got it. We value you. If we understand the expectations (ie "the rules for playing the game"), we'll understand one another, we'll encourage one another, we'll be less frustrated with one another, we'll reduce surprises and show grace when surprises do occur.

What are your expectations of us? Share with us. Not only your expectations of what we'll do but of how you'd like us to serve you. To keep in touch. To call. To email. To skype.

Discussing expectations builds healthy relationships. Be on the lookout for future blog posts about what our expectations are for family, friends, and churches. Don't read "expectation" as "requirement." Read it more as a hope or desire.

We expect to let others down. Others will let us down. We hope to continue to build relationships in new ways. Distance may be a struggle. But relationships can and will evolve. I mean, after all...what did you expect? :)

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The (Post) Modern Topic of Friends

A good friend of ours, Rod Fry, recently posted the following explanation of his perspective of friendship, mentoring, etc etc. We thought it was good enough to share on here as he asks many insightful questions and provides some very practical insight into the topic of friendship. You can learn more about Rod and Mayra's ministry by visiting their blog.

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Friends
by Rod Fry

During our last night on vacation recently, on the balcony of our hotel, late at night long after the kids and Mayra had gone to sleep, I looked over the beautiful pool area and palm trees under the light of the moon, and finally had somewhat of a revelation.

Revelations from God don't come very often, at least for me. Some of this may have to do with the fact that I'm usually with three very active, very loud kids. My dream vacation is quiet, relaxing times with my wife. Reality is so, oh so much different. If you know our kids, you know what I'm talking about.

But finally, the last night, on the porch overlooking a beautiful hotel and with the sound of the waves in the background...finally God spoke. Of course, not audibly. But clearly nonetheless.

One of the concepts I most value is "friendship." I would prefer to be called a friend much more than a pastor or missionary or whatever else. The word "friend" implies relationship. I implies love. It necessitates a deeper knowledge of someone. Of me, and I of others.

I'm 42. Facebook says I have 464 friends. But what about those friends. Some of those people I am friends with I don't really even know. Some of them I most surely don't even like. Some of them, as evidenced by what they post, are apparently borderline certifiable. Without a doubt, I would not have wanted to share that balcony with most of them that last night at the hotel.

I began to think of who I really would like to be there. Now, obviously I want my wife there. I really want her there. But... bear with me here ladies...guys need guys. Men need men, to challenge each other, encourage each other, motivate each other and keep each other accountable.

I remember a fellow missionary saying that he heard that you can sort of coast spiritually until you're 40. You can ride on the momentum of your background, of your family, of your younger years. But once you're 40, you gotta work at it. More. Constantly. I agree with this sentiment.

So I have tons of friends, but how many friends do I really have? How many men do I want to share my heart with, and listen to theirs? Who do I really want with me on the balcony? Not many. But I need the ones I have. I need friends.

I got a lot of ideas, a lot of vision. I need friends to tell me I'm not crazy, and friends to tell me when I am. I struggle with sin. Daily. I need help with that. I really do. I desperately want to fulfill the purpose that God has for me in this life. I can't achieve that alone, because I have blind spots. I am undisciplined. I get so distracted. I get discouraged and tired (that last part has only happened since I turned 40!).

Discipleship has so many names. Mentor, apprentice, teacher, student, pastor, learner. But my favorite name is "friend." It puts us on the same level, because there is, after all, only one Rabbi, only one Teacher.
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